what they didn't tell me...

It would be really hard...
I would be angry or left in a little bit of a huff and puff stint...

I'm wondering if maybe I am just too tired to care about people and what happens to them.
I'm wondering if maybe there are parallels in my life that need to be explored...
I'm wondering if maybe I should go back to being the introvert I was...

I'm looking at myself and trying to decide if I like what I see...
I guess i don't if i have to ask that question - I don't like getting in the middle of potentially messy situations.

They annoy the hell out of me and they often put me in positions that I would rather not find myself.

Because of friendship I have done some very stupid things - all in the name of preserving that which I cherish (I strongly believe in the bonds of friendship and all it has to offer if there's sincerity and Integrity involved)

I am now questioning this in the light of recent events...

I must now review certain actions against my person and analyze the situation - what is the overall intent and goal of such a behavior?

Am I to review my interactions with the persons involved?
Am I to review the bonds themselves or am am to distance myself from such a relationship?

My gift and my curse...
That I must be able to read people and empathize with their situations - but at what price?
How does one weigh the trade-offs and sacrifices made?

I am uncertain of the eventual outcome of my self analysis...

Maybe it was long over due may be it needed to be done...

By the way - have you noticed all the "I's" and "Me" that dot this write-up.

Plain Pathetic

I could almost "hate" me

I worked my butt off this week...

I was advised on my "late" coming...
where that particular fact came from is utterly beyond me - I am reformed!
I don't do late except on fridays...
For the last three weeks or so I have endeavored to come as early as possible.
But then again "she" admitted that she hadn't checked and therefore...



It has been a hellish week on the touch and go plane...
I am constantly having to revise opinions about "me".

1. I am not nice...
2. I am aware that i am becoming "someone" else trying to play me.
(if this last statement confused you them - horrah! You are not alone!)

I am losing friends and beginning to think in directions that are not pleasing - we call this phase life and the last time I checked it was a "life" long affair.

I definitely know that I like the "me" of the past compared to the current "me".
I was just telling my friend Dan this morning that I felt helpless in the face of "things and events".

I don't know if all of me is an "act" or not...
I don't know if I'll get better or worse.

My motives are all wrong and now appear sinister - even to me..
Some times I feel like I don't know who i am anymore, sometimes I wonder about my true motives - the what and why of me...

I am my own folly...

O! Happy day...

A friend of mine was recently very generous to me...

He sent across a package that includes one of those wind me up kits (flashlight with the ability to recharge your phone)...

Why would he send me such a gift?

In one word: PHCN or blown up into its proper nomenclature of Power "Holding" Company of Nigeria formerly known as NEPA or Nigerian Electric Power Authority.
Obviously the change in name has equally affected their capacity to "hold-on" to electricity.

Now, I would deem it a miracle if you wake up to the glory of electricity in any guise and if you're so fortunate to do so then you must be among those class of Nigerians who own generators - which happen to be all the rage these days...

For the last two months we have been subjected to un-imaginable load shedding under so many guises - finally running out of excuses and steam, we're now told that the electrical power capacity has fallen drastically to such an extent that we must be subjected to days, weeks without electricity.
I can't even begin to ponder on the why of it all...

So that when you are fortunate enough to get two hours of electricity, the world is never better - all is at peace and PHCN (NEPA) is now your favored darling of the moment...

I get to iron only half of my shirt - if I'm lucky and try to wait patiently until there's electricity long enough to iron the shirts for a week of work, i try to 'stretch-out" a few wrinles before the heat dies away...

I'm beginning to think of this country in a very different "light" - pretty ironic isn't it?

Just checking in - for a Nigerian, it's so easy to fall into a lament...

All in the name of business...

I have been having brain waves upon brain waves of Ideas for as long as I can remember.
The issue or should I say my issue is how to transform one of these breath taking ideas into a decent money spinner.

This particular endeavor has been a mounting passion - especially as regards becoming an independent business owner as soon possible. I have no plan to work indefinitely for anyone.
Truth be told - there's so much to do and so little time to do it.

I have read articles and books, talked to people but I still consider myself a novice of sorts.
Today on the spur of the moment I ran a Google search for business ideas and came across a avery interesting blog titled:

Unusual Business Ideas That Work

I found the title particularly intriguing so a-clicking did i go and i must confess that it yielded a whole lot of material for me to digest. I must say that i am finding the ideas here particularly fascinating and very inspiring but to say the least.

If you happen to be someone like me searching for inspirational ideas - this is a very good resource to start from and grow.


Regards

Amazing - Lunatics on the loose...

I cannot but wonder on how it happened?
Was it simply one of those little issues of a disease progressively getting worse - in that case are we allowing the situation to deteriorate to the point where everyone is just that extra bit crazy daily?

Can we truly be living in the jungle in spite of the of our pretensions to aspire towards western influences? What influences - apparently we find it so hard to read between the lines; the fine print - which is often where the core message lies.

We are not our environment except the reference to environment means - people.
People - which includes you and myself, are what determine and define the direction of society, morals, ethics, norms and mores and a host of other social issues.

You can take a horse to the stream but you can't force it to drink from the stream - in fact you can't force it to drink - Period!

Which brings me to the main topic for discussion:
Why are Lagosians (Nigerians living in the state of Lagos) so much in a hurry?

I can't for the life of me understand the reason or thought behind all the daily rush.
You rush to work and then you rush back, you rush to the car, rush to get through traffic, rush to join a fuel queue forming in the nearby petrol station, rush to market, rush to the club, rush to get married, rush to get to church...

Why and where does one spend all that "saved" time spent rushing... Answer: Nowhere!
You are just raising your blood pressure and sending your nerves down the path way of destruction.

You need to see the demonic look of the fellow in a rush - have we all taken leave of our senses or is there more to this problem than meets the eye?

I am beginning to think that HELL may have a new branch in this state.
The chaos is just mind numbing and all to what end.
Sometimes I get the feeling that the state is in a "state" of waiting for something to happen or occur - maybe an outbreak of mindless violence or something else...

We're so full of it - it makes me wonder - then when the day is over you see the poor sods trying to justify the day as if doing that makes up for all the frustrations, anger, envy etc.
we act lower than the animals and it makes me kinda wonder where our lot is going to - zoo perhaps?

I think we ought to slow down a great deal, live a life at a pace that makes sense and save the rush for when you die. There's no need to barrel through life like you've got more at stake than everybody else. It is the same game with different outcomes and the winner or loser is a personal choice for each individual - rushing through the race doesn't enhance the outcome in any way, you may even miss out the markers...

My advice - take time to smell the roses and please try to cut out the need to barrel through life like a Ferrari - notice the numerous crashes they're often involved with...

Ciao...