The ghost of christmas past. - what a haunting tale..

Presently...

the break afforded me the oppurtinity to catch up with my beauty sleep - which meant that I tried to the best of my ability to sleep as much as I could. Plus or minus a few wasted hours...

Why?

I had lost a lot of sleep in the last two months and it was beginning to show...
I was not very sharp and it was becoming a daily struggle to keep myself in that state of mind required to work... I was becoming edgy, moody and had lost the will to put in my best because i was so bloody tired and fed-up... (of what you may ask?)

Christmas - an overrated celebration, especially in the light of the apparent fuel "scarcity" - which meant that many commuters spent their breaks in the long queues that formed outside the gates of many petrol stations... When u see the way your fellow human beings behave, you're forced to reconsider your priorities...
My routine consisted of church on sunday of which I went late and church on monday (i still went late!) I didn't really care about the sermon - indicative of my mental state perhaps?

It disgusted me to no end - but then again, when has disgust ever created a solution?

The period between the 23rd and 26th where spent in a foul mood. I was hostile to even my friends at home, i didn't want to see my immediate family - i tried to be jovial but I didn't have the will power to pull it off until the 26th...
At best a ceremonial event.

I'm in-between family crises, my mother who is a doom sayer painted the kind of picture that agrees with my overtly critical mood (I'm somewhere between being a skeptic and a perssimist)

The last part of the year is gradually winding up...

I'm no believer - but i must begin to believe in my God-given ability to determine my future out side occurances that appear sporadic in nature...

If no way exists - i MUST create one and forge ahead, where no man has gone...

I have yielded too many years to worry, dread and fear - i must yield no more!

Destiny is not predetermined - it is shaped by a constant belief in myself and my God given abilities...

Failure is an oppurtunity given to me to learn how to improve...

I am better than my circumstances, I MUST triumph over my challenges, smash all barriers in my path - there is no other way except forward...

It is my destiny to succed... Therefore i must not linger in failure!

Learn the lesson where necessary and then move on.

The lull of sleep calling to me like the songs of the sirens

can u imagine a case when your eyes are so heavy they weigh a ton and then some...
I was fighting with sleep and guess who had the upper hand?

Even the mere effort of writing this missal was an effort too much - meanwhile, i haven't eaten anything today and my stomach grumbles with the effort...

Work today is like a cook with too many pans on the stove - I've learnt the meaning of multitasking as applied to me, myself and I...

My trusted friend celebrated his birthday on the 8th of december 2006 and it was by his estimation - a very uneventful day...
We lost the excuse to party and it was particularly painful for him - i didn't help matters and it must have soiled his mood (Sorry dan!)

Anyway belated birthday wishes - here's to further success in your life and many happy returns for the rest of the year!

We are 20 days shy of the end of year and my typing skills have deteriorated to the extent that I'm mis-typing words... I'm brain & body tired and i wonder why that should be? I slept well at least on sunday and i woke up by 5:45 am...

Riding on metaphors

1. The disaster struck like a tidal wave ...
2. the problem clung firmly like a leech - too stubborn to let go.

Anyway - welcome to the 6th day of december 2006.
For valucard, it was a day with its typical challenges.
It was the best of days & the worst of days with challenges that had us (us meaning: Valucard IT Staff) standing together like it was somebody's funeral.
Our database went down and there was no available redundancy - there was then the added option or should I say threat that meant that we could, may or might lose data - mission critical data....

That fact alone sent shivers down the spines of many - imagine a problem that made a good number people of the IT department skip bed to spend the night proposing to a server rack of all things...

"Please could u just start up?"
"NO!"
"just act as if u wanted to start up?"
"Nooo..."

This was a clear case of when anything bad can happen it will and normally at the worst possible time.

We asked questions that seemed to go nowhere - we pondered and thought...
Alas as with all things that are based on knowledge - u know only what you've learnt or have the necessary experience to deal with or have inferred - okay throw in a dose of luck when you're close to the truth - so close infact that you could be neighbors...
If not for the HP support engineers who sold and support the damn server rack with everything on it...

We were exposed to the real meaning of the word: Mission Critical
It was a hard lesson well learned.

On to other matters...

Its wednesday - the midweek.
Can't wait for the ever elusive friday and yet when it finally comes round - it just a brief weekend of two days and you're up again - fighting for your daily bread...

It's just 19 days to christmas - it really depends on the mood you find yourself in...
Me - the season died a long time ago in my childhood but I wish it would come back...
I actually miss those days.

That ladies and gentlemen is the real world - step back, brace your backs and have your heads chopped off...

Just felt like venting...

hope u all have a nice wednesday, 6th of December 2006 - hopefully it was better than mine.
As they say: if it doen't kill you - it only makes you stronger (or more ill...)
Regards