Thursday, April 24, 2008

Thanks for all that ZEN - now I just have to get it back

I actually got this title from blogger...

This post is celebrating the 4th year anniversary, of Life's a beach...
Bring out the champagne and pop the cork... We've been from there to here and we're still moving.

Life has been rather varied recently - I've done things that I am proud of and others that still cause me to cringe in shame. (No, I won't share the details)

I'm approaching the big 3-0 in mid July and it has been a looming billboard that has kept me thinking furiously.

Thinking about the questions in my life that currently require answers.
Questions such as:
  1. Where am I headed?
  2. What's my primary aim or goal in life?
  3. What have I achieved so far and what needs to be done?
Who knows where this line of thought will lead to eventually? I'm none the wiser but I'm willing to try as there's really no other choice...

I am haunted by so many un-experienced things that I need to learn from... I'm limited by learning from secondary sources (a good thing for most but sometimes you need to get in the thick of things to learn anything)

Recently, I've had to challenge my commitment to my current job. Having experienced the FOOTPRINTS workshop for twelve days, which took place in Ethiopia - I can candidly say that it was well worth stress experienced.

I think I need to get back my "MOJO" or "JIVE" back - I need to go back to feeling - and I quote my term here: Realistically optimistic.

There is a future out there - which involves me, my plans and potential achievements...

I know that I have many talents - some as obscure as singing in a false voice that is not mine to doing the funky chicken when no one is there to observe my folly...

But talents need to be expressed and used to grow.

To get back to that ZEN state, I need me to believe in a "me" without boundaries and limits - a "ME" with will power and a belief in the achievable...

I know that "ROME wasn't built in a day" but it was a spirit of collectivity and drive that made it into the legend of men and dreams...

As I approach the end of the month of April, 2008 - I am reminded constantly of those dreams that have had to take a back seat to "realities" such as - paying bills, fending for myself and planning towards the future etc

However without my dreams - I am doomed to a life of an "average" individual - trapped in a cycle until his time on earth is done.

Regardless of what I achieve or don't achieve - I want to always know that i put in my very possible best at all times and for me that matters a great deal...

However before this journey of achievement can begin - i need to re-attain my ZEN state...

Progress is making incremental, positive changes (and a few negative ones for learning experiences) to my life, my outlook, my economic, social and ethical standing...

The path way to ZEN is however a different journey - which indicates that everything must come together to complement and balance each other - that this state of mind creates harmony as a sense of separation from the incessant chatter of life (and its many distractions)