The ghost of christmas past. - what a haunting tale..

Presently...

the break afforded me the oppurtinity to catch up with my beauty sleep - which meant that I tried to the best of my ability to sleep as much as I could. Plus or minus a few wasted hours...

Why?

I had lost a lot of sleep in the last two months and it was beginning to show...
I was not very sharp and it was becoming a daily struggle to keep myself in that state of mind required to work... I was becoming edgy, moody and had lost the will to put in my best because i was so bloody tired and fed-up... (of what you may ask?)

Christmas - an overrated celebration, especially in the light of the apparent fuel "scarcity" - which meant that many commuters spent their breaks in the long queues that formed outside the gates of many petrol stations... When u see the way your fellow human beings behave, you're forced to reconsider your priorities...
My routine consisted of church on sunday of which I went late and church on monday (i still went late!) I didn't really care about the sermon - indicative of my mental state perhaps?

It disgusted me to no end - but then again, when has disgust ever created a solution?

The period between the 23rd and 26th where spent in a foul mood. I was hostile to even my friends at home, i didn't want to see my immediate family - i tried to be jovial but I didn't have the will power to pull it off until the 26th...
At best a ceremonial event.

I'm in-between family crises, my mother who is a doom sayer painted the kind of picture that agrees with my overtly critical mood (I'm somewhere between being a skeptic and a perssimist)

The last part of the year is gradually winding up...

I'm no believer - but i must begin to believe in my God-given ability to determine my future out side occurances that appear sporadic in nature...

If no way exists - i MUST create one and forge ahead, where no man has gone...

I have yielded too many years to worry, dread and fear - i must yield no more!

Destiny is not predetermined - it is shaped by a constant belief in myself and my God given abilities...

Failure is an oppurtunity given to me to learn how to improve...

I am better than my circumstances, I MUST triumph over my challenges, smash all barriers in my path - there is no other way except forward...

It is my destiny to succed... Therefore i must not linger in failure!

Learn the lesson where necessary and then move on.