Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A pissing contest - to see who got "PISSED" off...

My finger are freezing and yet - i'm still pounding on the keyboard trying to delude myself...

Self Check:

1. Still sitting at home with my ass glued to a chair trying to figure out a way forward.
2. Reading the preferred newspaper (Guardian), especially on tuesdays and thurdays for the provential "JOB VACANCY"
3. Hating myslef every minute of the day but what else is new?
4. My attempts at pulling myself out of the "ditch" is yielding mixed results - somedays i feel like I am on top of my game, other days I feel like my game has crushed the ideals out of me...
5. I'm still (believe this or not) trying to get my SH*T straight and I know that I'm getting there (even though it's not as fast as I would want)
6. Re-invented myself through my resume, my hope is that some dwib will notice although the statistics are not very encouraging but this is Nigeria - encouraging is winning the lotto!

I still believe in the soverignty of free enterprise - I don't see Nigeria or myself progressing any other way...
But my ideals and thoughts are taking a very sound thrashing and I'm suddenly not so cocky anymore...
As u must have gathered from my last post - my cybercafe (hence my job) closed down last week and I feel like it's all my fault and that I gave up on it...
I'm still trying to come to grips with it and although I can blame many factors, I refuse to because I believed that i could have made the difference, if I had tried to - the question is, did I?

I was walking around last nite, (NEPA had as usual made their point of view abundantly clear) trying to get any cool breeze to caress my heat rash filled skin and thinking when my sister puts in an appearance and she says something about us "dreamers" - the word filled me with a certain rage because I want to be a "Do-er" not a "dreamer".

Action begets reaction - dreams beget what??????

With these few words, I must depart from u denziens with a hope to be back...
(what else do I have to live for?)

Ciao

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