I want my friend

I've been left on the road for dead - my travel partner has suddenly decided that travelling with me could be more dangerous than initially anticipated. Perhaps there is a smattering of truth to this thought process.

I've had the typical withdrawal symptoms - the craving for company and other other means of communication that just vanished just like that - one moment we're tight as skin the next: it just stopped.

I think I might know the reason but I doubt it very much. I might just know some of it - some very small insignificant portion of the reason.

Looking back now - I guess I should come to expect that such things happen and often serve a purpose.

Personally - I've always wanted to break away from the mold of rules and regulations and to become perhaps a maverick of sorts.

I thought I had found someone to accompany me on this journey of self discovery - i think I must have pushed too hard and caused doubts to surface - exposed this party to danger.

I'm at that point where I'm left guessing at the "what-If's" - if i didn't do this would that happen?

I shouldn't have done... I should have done this instead...

Regardless of the consequences - I want my friend.

Time curreny & investment

its a new decade...

we're here. Now and irrevocably in the present.

the past is done with - we are all advised to learn the lessons taught, extract the nuggets of wisdom from our mistakes and move on. There is no reclaimed moment. There is only here and now.

This very moment.

I got a very enlightening email with regards to the greatest investment for most human beings everyday: 86,400. unbelievably this amount was a constant for us all, except we were already dead.

We are allowed to spend it any way we say fit and invest it in endeavours that would reap multiple gains now or in the immediate future. For as long as we live, this investment in nearly constant except you expire before (note the use of the word) before the day ends.

This investment is the time available to us in one day!

That is available to any human who is alive and who will NOT perish before the end of that day.

the investment amount is time and it equates to: 24 * 60 * 60

We are allowed to spend it anyway we can but we cannot retrieve any of this once spend and once the day ends any under-utilized or used portion is taken away.

there are no do overs with this investment vehicle.

the bottom line is to make the best of this in all and anyway that we can.

No day must be spent without some form of self improvement to self and others around you. No time must be wasted without learning more about your innate talents and you.

there is no refund and there is no rewind.

make the best use of today as you possibly can.

Last day of the decade

We have come upon one of those rare times in a human's life time. It is rare because we don't witness the regularly and yet in this seeming ordinariness of our lives we are made to understand the significance of the little and small things that truly make life worth it.

I went to bed yesterday with a heavy heart. Something in me rebelled to impart my pain in such a way as I felt it to the supposed cause... I was tempted to respond via the vast electronic ether of the mobile fone but i decided that my current state of mind would not communicate objectively...

I have since come to learn a few lessons:

You control the ability to be happy or unhappy by what you allow to affect you.
Nobody influences you unless you allow them to do so
Don't put your fate or feelings into the hands of another unless you believe they have earned that right.
Never forget the power of an apology.
To fear is to limit yourself to that which assumes power over you.

Of course we can all agree that there is the one saying the words and one acting upon them.
With these parting words for 2009 - I wish you all the best with sincerity.

Welcome 2010 with open arms and better expectations for yourself.