Thanks for all that ZEN - now I just have to get it back

I actually got this title from blogger...

This post is celebrating the 4th year anniversary, of Life's a beach...
Bring out the champagne and pop the cork... We've been from there to here and we're still moving.

Life has been rather varied recently - I've done things that I am proud of and others that still cause me to cringe in shame. (No, I won't share the details)

I'm approaching the big 3-0 in mid July and it has been a looming billboard that has kept me thinking furiously.

Thinking about the questions in my life that currently require answers.
Questions such as:

1. Where am I headed?
2. What's my primary aim or goal in life?
3. What have I achieved so far and what needs to be done?

Who knows where this line of thought will lead to eventually? I'm none the wiser but I'm willing to try as there's really no other choice...

I am haunted by so many un-experienced things that I need to learn from... I'm limited by learning from secondary sources (a good thing for most but sometimes you need to get in the thick of things to learn anything)

Recently, I've had to challenge my commitment to my current job. Having experienced the FOOTPRINTS workshop for twelve days, which took place in Ethiopia - I can candidly say that it was well worth stress experienced.

I think I need to get back my "MOJO" or "JIVE" back - I need to go back to feeling - and I quote my term here: Realistically optimistic.

There is a future out there - which involves me, my plans and potential achievements...

I know that I have many talents - some as obscure as singing in a false voice that is not mine to doing the funky chicken when no one is there to observe my folly...

But talents need to be expressed and used to grow.

To get back to that ZEN state, I need me to believe in a "me" without boundaries and limits - a "ME" with will power and a belief in the achievable...

I know that "ROME wasn't built in a day" but it was a spirit of collectivity and drive that made it into the legend of men and dreams...

As I approach the end of the month of April, 2008 - I am reminded constantly of those dreams that have had to take a back seat to "realities" such as - paying bills, fending for myself and planning towards the future etc

However without my dreams - I am doomed to a life of an "average" individual - trapped in a cycle until his time on earth is done.

Regardless of what I achieve or don't achieve - I want to always know that i put in my very possible best at all times and for me that matters a great deal...

However before this journey of achievement can begin - i need to re-attain my ZEN state...

Progress is making incremental, positive changes (and a few negative ones for learning experiences) to my life, my outlook, my economic, social and ethical standing...

The path way to ZEN is however a different journey - which indicates that everything must come together to complement and balance each other - that this state of mind creates harmony as a sense of separation from the incessant chatter of life (and its many distractions)

In the grip of passion...

Apt title...
somewhat self descriptive - a complete representation of me, myself and I...

did I mention that I spent the beginnings of the month of march in Ethiopia?

I was part of a British council sponsored program referred to as Footprints and was paired up with some very talented people.
Artists, Film makers, Photographers, writers etc and it was a fun ten days of creative discovery.

the city of Addis Ababa (the capital of Ethiopia) is very impressive - comparative to my home environment - it took the grace of GOD to get me back on a plane heading to Lagos.

Anyways I was part of a team of facilitators who where given the task of guiding participants in developing and bringing to life their digital stories.

It was a most welcome distraction from my regular desk job - i jumped on-board the project like a drowning man clutching at straws.

It was initially scheduled to hold in Kenya but the dictates of fate prevailed and we ended up in Ethiopia, which I actually grew to love.

I am beginning to discover that my true purpose in life is beyond the regular 8 - 5 time schedule that dictates the pace of a regular job....

I was in my element but i found that I was somewhat nervous and a bit wound-up...

I still thinks that this experience was one of the best in my life and I am absolutely thankful to GOD for giving me this opportunity...

I still look forward to other opportunities and hope that I will drift towards this line of work - that will allow me to use my talents...

I met some very beautiful people and hope to meet them again - In this life time...

I hope to keep you guys posted...

the sad reality is that i am now back to my regular life doing that which pays the bills - of all the rotten luck!

Quest for that elusive something...

Reaching into the depths of the ordinary is the extra-ordinary waiting to happen...

If this sound like a motivational, self promotion guru tip then toss it out of the window so quick it wouldn't know its environment has just changed.

Alas - you can't and I don't blame you.
It is not your fault after all - some strange twist of fate got you into the mess and instead of getting down and dirty so you can pull yourself out of the shit hole - what do you do?

You go ahead and sit in your own shit and complain about the smell - Give me a break!

Life is this experience that you find yourself in - it is your own personal script and you're the director cum producer cum actor... the best part of it is that you are at liberty to improvise your parts - Play king or beggar, rich or poor man - the choice is yours and my suggestion to you is to grab it with both hands and run as if your life depended on it.

What's the purpose to your existence if you end up doing the same shit day in day out?
there must be something other than a repetitive 8 - 5 job tied to some lousy desk?

that's where my admiration for Steve Jobs and Bill Gates come in....
Call them whatever names light your rocket: SCREAMING CAPITALIST!
But please, I beg you to admire their spirit while in the pursuit of dreams until the dreams overtook and overshadowed their initial expectations...

Of course not every one of these guys is a success story today but in the long run - they pursued their dreams and THAT is what matters...

I would prefer to have tried and failed and learnt what I didn't do right than to NOT try at all...

That my friend is the school of hard knocks and there's no better teacher out there.

My quest is to discover self and my REAL purpose - that task lies completely in my hands...