2005 - a year in summary (the Good, the Bad & the Ugly)

well...

On a happy note (a good way to end the year): a very lovely (okay beautiful - there are you happy now!), delectable and dear friend of mine sent her picture to me and I'd like to share it with the world(with her kind permission of course.) - I was intially against the idea (and she kinda guessed) so I'm trying to prove myself and her wrong by going all out and sharing it but then again, methinks that beauty should be shown to the world not hidden from view.
So in the light of this, here goes:
Her name's Faizah Musa. (doesn't she look glorious?)

On to other matters:

This morning, I'm thankfully at the helm of my keyboard lost in thought (If that last part were true, how would I be typing this post?) I'm yet to decide if I'm relieved that the year's finally ended (today being the 31st of december 2005, in my part of the world) or to remain in a state of shock that God gave me the gift of life till the end of the year. (you decide!)

It was the best of years, (who am I trying to fool?) It was most definitely the worst of years (I hear a lot of agreement in the background.) for alot of people, the world over.
Thankfully, today - the 31st of December 2005, we can look back to the various incidents and maybe pick up the little nuggets of wisdom that life continues the show us.

I'm bringing to mind some great lessons learned from books such as:

1. Think & grow rich.
2. The power of positive thinking.
3. Tough times never last but tough people do.

These are just a few of the books that may help us recondition our pattern of thinking and shrug out of our doom, gloom & doom life of expectancy, where the worst is most expected and the best is often over rated.

Humanity is after all what we "Think!"

The various global catastrophies that have befallen us throughout this year has also exposed us to the concept of our human fraility. Even with the many advances in science & technology, one cannot yet predict or even avert many natutral disasters that have and will continue to befall us but at least we can now to some extent limit the odds...

In Nigeria (my country), One cannot help but notice the determination that people normally display in their bid to survive daily (that's the right word, because even the rich try to survive the erosion of their wealth). Each state has its characteristic approach to survival. For instance, Lagos the city of fast moves - you're expected to be up and doing, hustling your way through life daily - It's like watching a movie of your daily existence in fast forward.

In Abuja (the capital of Nigeria), there's a sense that Government provides everything, so the sense of haste & hurry noticed in lagos is most definitely absent. These are just a few examples.

On a personal note; I'm forced to review the year and match my achievements with the many expectations that I set for myself. On some grounds, I most definitely made some achievements but the long term implications remain lost to me, still I've not quite gotten to the state and level of where I want to be.

I'm still looking for a constant means of livelyhood to support myself. I'm working killer hours with no breaks in a largely hostile environment and my future for the most part "appears" uncertain.

In comparison, some of my friends who don't reside in nigeria anymore(Britain, Sweden, Korea, America, Australia) constantly sound disconnected - it is such that when they talk of a country, which they've lost touch with - they sound very bewildered - I could say almost shocked. Yet alot of them are the very same people who used to wake up everyday (before they left Nigeria) wondering what their very future holds - no job prospects (a job interview for 10 positions will often net applications exceeding 1000 or more), no business prospects - infact no prospects but today, they've settled into their new environments and have promptly forgotten what it feels like to wake up with a big question mark hanging on your fate everyday.

Anyway, my goals for the future are somewhat simple.

1. To confront my fears and face up to the challenges what ever they maybe.

2. To be truly financially independent.

3. To get married on or before I get to thirty.

4. To be a billionaire before the ripe age of 35.

5. To futher my education and eventually enter the teaching profession when I "retire".

Shalom.

hyper - TENSION... Worry, WORRY and more worry

Imagine the grief!
I woke up today, bright and early to make some money for myself and my partner - I opened and promptly setup shop, awaiting the first customer of the day... Who did indeed show up but it was not to be.... Our internet connection was still acting up and we were expecting the engineers, who did show up at about 12:00pm...

The recurrent problem from yesterday - out internet connection "timing out" was dealt with today - although it took till 6:20 pm before we could finally be said to be in operation!
I'm just about flamed out with worry & grief!

The way business was going today, I could have sworn that some celestial being was laughing at my expense and my poor nerves are all but worn thin by the constant worry and palatable tension that was so thick you could just about slice it with a knife. I'm just at the point where I'm asking myself why? (the waiting doesn't come easy either, infact that's the hardest part!)

NEPA (now called power holdings companyNigeria) was here today - branishing their usual threats of disconnecting the electricity. They initially went ahead with the threat but later put us back after "some grease"...

My financial state is nothing to write home about - I'm about down to my last two thousand naira and I'm wondering where all my cash went to.

I would like the reassurance that sufficient, well planned capital injected into this business would provide for me... My teeth are constantly on edge and I worry more than I care to admit...

My capital investment in the business is not much and maybe that's why I feel so rudderless - waiting for my ship to make it to shore by some miracle... If I was more committed (financially) - I would be in a better position to make my suggestions known & felt.
This open today, closed tomorrow mentality's killing me! I hate it even more that I can't seem to harness capital (friends & relatives are being slow)

New year approaches on the horizion - like sunrise, eagerly anticipated by some and feared by the rest. I look to its approach with a mixed bag of feelings. On one hand, I hope that things will fall into place, on the other hand - I'm fearful...

I definitely need a break!

I needed to get that off my chest - I'm looking for investments, anyone interested?

ciao...

post-christmas, pre new year - what the heck?

On the 24th of December - I was in a black, foul mood. The night was most unforgiving - I had come back from work rather reluctantly, thoughts swimming through my head, the future was not very bright and I was indulging in some self pity (my own undoing!)

Anyway, I come back home contemplating so much stuff - I'm worried that the year is almost ended and I have nothing (Or so I think) to show for it as compared to what most of my friends and former school mates are currently doing...

It is no mean feat to examine your convictions and see that you are going nowhere (or so you think).
By the 25th after a nite's sleep - I had somewhat made peace with myself and just made my way to church (to make my peace with God!)

The 26th met me at home - I was too lazy to go anywhere and I was content to eat, sleep, watch some films, play age of mythology and generally laze around.

Today - I'm infront of the computer, pouring my thoughts out and generally trying to come to terms with my expectations for the new year - What's my driving force for 2006?
What do I need to achieve? Where will I be at the end of 2006?

Regardless of the future, my plan is to be better prepared to take advantage of any oppurtunities that will arise...

Wishing all - a pleasant holiday season, full of happiness, laughter and good cheer for this new year that's upon us.

Shalom