Its a new year - 2011. It feels like a script for a new movie.
I left my office yesterday and got home at about nine pm. The celebrations for the new year were gradually picking up some steam. Fireworks were going off in different directions. Meanwhile the threat of danger still ever present - as the Nigerian elections draw close, we start to notice how the bombs have become the new tool of choice - what in GOD's good name have we become....
back to the topic under discussion:
I was feeling a little down and decided that there was to be no mid-night service for me. I just wanted to be with myself and catch up on some ME time. I grabbed my bible after peeling off my clothes and kept it for standby duty... I wanted to do some introspection and define me for 2011.
I found a couple of interesting passages - a bit of genesis which spoke about the creation of man and woman.
Then i kinda drifted to proverbs where i read something that stuck: something about the bold man getting the rewards of his acts.
That was the moment: 2011 required BOLDNESS from me.
I would expand my horizon and GOD help this year - it had more to fear from me than I had to FEAR from it. This will be my coming out. This is where i make my stand.
Welcome 2011 - prepare to be subjugated and tamed.
I walk hand in hand with my GOD to face the unseen.
God bless you all
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Friday, December 24, 2010
O! Christmas
Christmas and all it entails.
I'm in the office and most of the work force has dissolved into the ethers of the holiday mood. they have mostly left for home and I'm trying to catch up on my writing and provide skeletal support for any issues that may arise.
Tomorrow will be spent indoors after attending a church service and I hope to make myself as happy as i can afford to be. Perhaps a few glasses of red wine and the television.
To those of you out there I say: a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
God Bless you all!
I'm in the office and most of the work force has dissolved into the ethers of the holiday mood. they have mostly left for home and I'm trying to catch up on my writing and provide skeletal support for any issues that may arise.
Tomorrow will be spent indoors after attending a church service and I hope to make myself as happy as i can afford to be. Perhaps a few glasses of red wine and the television.
To those of you out there I say: a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
God Bless you all!
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Living my dream
I didn't wake up in a suite in Eko Le' Meridian - I didn't have a view of the ocean front nor see the rise of the sun in brilliant colors to denote the beginning of a new day. Instead, I woke up in a small room somewhere. I was buffeted by my own pool of sweat and the murky odors of a body drenched in its own effervescence.
Was i living my dream?
By a far cry no! But I had started in the right direction with so much ambition and hope. Four years down the line it is pretty easy to say that I have probably lost the thread of discussion.
It wasn't that i had or have given up - it was simply the feeling that time was peeling away from me and i could do little to catch up. Everywhere I look, I am exposed to success stories that show me that others are indeed living their dreams or in the mist of achieving it.
Don't get me wrong - we all see the other sides of the coin everywhere we go. But most don't focus on that side of the coin to begin with. We all want the flashing bulbs and the fame and success that comes with doing living the dream. Do we see the measure of preparation or the toils and suffering that are often hidden from view - these are probably the training fields that most go through during their rites of preparation.
There are so many ideas and dreams that have been nurtured with a full view towards success. Even when one is aware of the requirements and one makes every effort to pay the dues - something utterly unplanned has to materialize and spoil it.
It is not for a lack of trying and yet I have squandered many dreams on the pathway towards my independence. I detest my working environment and my working conditions. I hate the seemingly unplanned and un-coordinated approaches.
I hate the fact that my decisions depend on others and that often times - we are simply following rules that are no longer valid in today's working environment.
I hate that my ideas are squandered and left to die and that I can seem to do nothing to change the outcome.
Where are my failings? What can I do to amend them. Where and how can i improve my situation that I no longer feel like a failure?
I no longer wish to live by the rules of the un-informed.
I wish to live my dreams here and now.
Was i living my dream?
By a far cry no! But I had started in the right direction with so much ambition and hope. Four years down the line it is pretty easy to say that I have probably lost the thread of discussion.
It wasn't that i had or have given up - it was simply the feeling that time was peeling away from me and i could do little to catch up. Everywhere I look, I am exposed to success stories that show me that others are indeed living their dreams or in the mist of achieving it.
Don't get me wrong - we all see the other sides of the coin everywhere we go. But most don't focus on that side of the coin to begin with. We all want the flashing bulbs and the fame and success that comes with doing living the dream. Do we see the measure of preparation or the toils and suffering that are often hidden from view - these are probably the training fields that most go through during their rites of preparation.
There are so many ideas and dreams that have been nurtured with a full view towards success. Even when one is aware of the requirements and one makes every effort to pay the dues - something utterly unplanned has to materialize and spoil it.
It is not for a lack of trying and yet I have squandered many dreams on the pathway towards my independence. I detest my working environment and my working conditions. I hate the seemingly unplanned and un-coordinated approaches.
I hate the fact that my decisions depend on others and that often times - we are simply following rules that are no longer valid in today's working environment.
I hate that my ideas are squandered and left to die and that I can seem to do nothing to change the outcome.
Where are my failings? What can I do to amend them. Where and how can i improve my situation that I no longer feel like a failure?
I no longer wish to live by the rules of the un-informed.
I wish to live my dreams here and now.
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